‘I managed to locate the five barred gate to the correct field in the dark. Ian and I climbed over to attempt to select a suitable turnip. I decided we should take a couple of turnips in case one was not suitable and we soon uprooted a couple which seemed to fit the bill.

We straightened up holding the turnips and both of us gave a loud yell of sheer terror. A horrible head with huge horns suddenly appeared over the stone wall bordering one side of the field and was silhouetted against the rising moon. It must be the horned god come to claim and punish us for our bad deed, it almost prompted a panicky evacuation of the bowels. We were spared the horrors of trying to explain the sudden outbreak of soiled short trousers to Mummy when the curious cow looking over the stone wall made a re-assuring mooing noise.

Too late, we realised the silhouette with wicked horns we had seen by the light of the October moon was only a cow and not the Devil come to claim us.

The panic induced fear had us by the horns. We were soon over that gate and running down the road in the inky darkness the direction of home, panic stricken but luckily our small fists were still clutching our turnip loot as we rapidly headed blindly for home, safety and Mummy’.

MOTTO. Buy your own turnips for Halloween and leave the poor old farmer alone. Other helpful advice can be gleaned at the links below;

Andy Wishart. Made in Scotland.


Series of interesting wry Daze memoirs from Scotland. YouTube link ;

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