Archive by Author

#LISSEN. This would bring tears to a glass eye.

8 Jul

This pic would bring tears to a glass eye. Here we see Wee Andy saying goodbye to his young lady-friend at the Frontier Daze Pub in the Wild West of Colorado, USA. He had been searching for gold at Shit Britches Creek which he believed was located in Colorado State until he had run out of money and was now broke. It seems he had been given a bum steer location for the fabled Shit Britches Creek which is actually situated in California. Andy is telling the young lady that he is broke and has left his bar bill on her tab. He must now say farewell and will have to return to Scotland to his wife and ten kids.

The moral of this story is that Andy should have paid attention to my regular advice posts concerning avoiding all kind of Shit Creek situations. Geez. How often do I have to send out sensible advice ? You can read more stories about disasters I have survived by avoiding strange wimmen with names like Poison Ivy and Eden the Terrible. Just follow the links;

Andy Wishart.  (Made in Scotland).

@andycelt1

Series of interesting wry Daze memoirs from Scotland. YouTube link ;

#LISSEN. More tips to avoid trouble in Shit Creek.

6 Jun

#LISSEN. If you are wandering along one of Scotland’s Shit Creeks and, of course, minding your own business while mentally composing a nice and romantic wee piece of poetry but are rudely interrupted by a bunch of thieving Arabs, then please take this advice. Quietly but quickly remove wallet from your back pocket and hand it to one of the thieving bastards. They will soon be quarreling among themselves while trying to count the money. They look like a bunch of posers anyway and will hardly notice if you slip away quietly to contact your mates who are just out of sight round the bend in the creek. You and your buddies will soon knock seven kinds of shit outa this bunch of phonies and you will soon have your money returned plus any monies of their own. There you go – another Shit Creek situation avoided and a happy and prosperous ending just for you.

You can learn more tips for avoiding life’s Shit Creek situations by following the link for more info;

Andy Wishart.     (Made in Scotland).

@andycelt1

Series of interesting wry Daze memoirs from Scotland. YouTube link ;

#LISSEN. GUARANTEED REMEDY TO AVOID SHIT CREEK!

20 May

MY GOOD FRIEND PADDY EMPLOYS A SURE FAST WAY TO AVOID PADDLING UP ANY OF LIFE’S SHIT CREEKS. PADDY’S ADVICE IS TO STOP WHATEVER DAFT NONSENSE YOU ARE ABOUT TO WANDER INTO, DROP EVERYTHING, PUT ON A SILLY SCOTTISH HAT AND HAVE A NICE CUP OF TEA INSTEAD. MY FRIEND PADDY IS IRISH AND CAN TELL YOU ALL ABOUT AVOIDING SHIT CREEK. HE HAS HAD MUCH EXPERIENCE AVOIDING THINGS IN HIS INTERESTING LIFE. A GOOD CUP OF TEA SHOULD DO THE TRICK.

Life’s Shit Creeks and other tales can be found by following this link while drinking tea. You might thank me one day;

Andy Wishart.  (MADE IN SCOTLAND).

@andycelt1

Series of interesting wry Daze memoirs from Scotland. YouTube link ;

#LISSEN. Anniversary time for Andy.

12 May

Today is my anniversary of turning up (late!) to join the ranks of The Kings Own Scottish Borderers at the depot in Berwick on Tweed to serve my National Service for Queen and Country. The year was 1955. Geez that’s 62 years ago, I’d better sit down. This pic shows me as a smart wee soldier at the end of basic training. I am the good looking one seated, second left. Travel, variety, excitement and growing up with a bunch of new friends was in store for Wee Andy. Och, I’m away down Memory Lane again.

 

#LISSEN. More tips to help avoid Shit Creek.

8 May

Dave,Hutch,Andy and Jock.

One way to avoid paddling up any of life’s Shit Creeks would be to hang with a bunch of old friends, preferably musicians. You can see that this bunch of old guys look a wee bit rough at the edges but don’t be misled. Dave, Hutch, Andy and Jock have all been round the musical block more than a few times. Each one of us broke into the music scene way back in the late fifties/early sixties and have lots of tales to tell about avoiding shit creek situations. You can read some of my stories at the link below;

 

Andy Wishart.   (Made in Scotland).

@andycelt1

Series of interesting wry Daze memoirs from Scotland. YouTube link ;

#LISSEN. Down Memory Lane.

22 Apr

Down Memory Lane with Andy. Here is pic of entrance to Fish Market Close in the Royal Mile, Edinburgh. Our drummer Dave would back our band wagon down this steep and narrow close leading to Bungies Club where The Andy Russell (me) Seven would play the night away every Sunday thru till Monday a.m.  Ah the good old early sixties days (and nights). I borrowed the last name Russell from a friend cos if we were paid by cheque, it would be payment for the entire band plus transport costs. I had no desire to explain to the tax man that each cheque was not for me alone. Yet another Shit Creek situation avoided. You can learn more about Andy’s old daze at link below;

Series of interesting wry Daze memoirs from Scotland. YouTube link ;

#LISSEN. MORE AVOIDING SHIT CREEK HINTS.

25 Mar

THIS WEEK’S HINT. By all means form a rock ‘n roll band to pass the time away. However, make sure you do not follow my mistake of playing sax beside two of the tallest members in the band performing at The Place Club in Edinburgh. They make me look awful wee. It helps if you can pick out the good looking one.

Hours of fun can be had playing numbers like Johnny be Good in the Chuck Berry style (or close).

Goodbye and thanks Chuck.

Series of interesting wry Daze memoirs from Scotland. YouTube link ;

Andy Wishart. (Made in Scotland).

@andycelt1

 

LISSEN. Book accepted by Radio Crystal !

1 Mar

dfw-aw-med-cover-thumb My audio version of wartime memoirs, My Early Daze by Andrew Wishart, has been accepted by Radio Crystal broadcasting over the South of Midlothian region of Scotland. My wee, daft book will be sectioned and broadcast weekly on Radio Crystal’s ‘BOOK CORNER’.  I will let you know the starting date and broadcasting wavelength closer to the time.

Andy Wishart.  (Made in Scotland).

@andycelt1

Series of interesting wry Daze memoirs from Scotland. YouTube link ;

Award Winner.

18 Feb

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WINNER OF THE AWARD FOR MOST INVENTIVE  BIRTHDAY CARD IS MY NEIGHBOUR KAY KINSELLA.!!

Kay took the front cover for my eBook of memoirs, My Army Daze by Andrew Wishart and used the theme to win the most original birthday card competition. Well done Kay.

Details of my other books and memories can be reached at this link;

Andy Wishart.  (Made in Scotland).

@andycelt1

Series of interesting wry Daze memoirs from Scotland. YouTube link ;

#LISSEN. AVOID A SHIT CREEK SITUATION.

29 Jan

big coo HELPING PEOPLE TO AVOID THE SHIT CREEKS IN LIFE

‘I managed to locate the five barred gate to the correct field in the dark. Ian and I climbed over to attempt to select a suitable turnip. I decided we should take a couple of turnips in case one was not suitable and we soon uprooted a couple which seemed to fit the bill.

We straightened up holding the turnips and both of us gave a loud yell of sheer terror. A horrible head with huge horns suddenly appeared over the stone wall bordering one side of the field and was silhouetted against the rising moon. It must be the horned god come to claim and punish us for our bad deed, it almost prompted a panicky evacuation of the bowels. We were spared the horrors of trying to explain the sudden outbreak of soiled short trousers to Mummy when the curious cow looking over the stone wall made a re-assuring mooing noise.

Too late, we realised the silhouette with wicked horns we had seen by the light of the October moon was only a cow and not the Devil come to claim us.

The panic induced fear had us by the horns. We were soon over that gate and running down the road in the inky darkness the direction of home, panic stricken but luckily our small fists were still clutching our turnip loot as we rapidly headed blindly for home, safety and Mummy’.

MOTTO. Buy your own turnips for Halloween and leave the poor old farmer alone. Other helpful advice can be gleaned at the links below;

Andy Wishart. Made in Scotland.

@andycelt1

Series of interesting wry Daze memoirs from Scotland. YouTube link ;

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